Aug. 21st, 2008 10:22 am
somejauntypolka: (junk)
So. I got 77% in that friggin class which made me a bit unhappy because I was figuring that in university that would be a C. Somehow that score magically resolved as a B+ which makes me feel pretty ok. I really don't care about A's. If I can stay a B student throughout school (if I continue to pursue it) with a reasonable amount of work and attention, then that's good enough for me!
somejauntypolka: (Default)
Sunday the 17th I'm attending a film at the Queer Film Fest: The Same but Different. Check out the link, it's about trans folk. There are probably lots of tickets left so please feel free grab a ticket and come with me. Alternately, if you're going and would enjoy my company, let me know if I can tag along with you.
somejauntypolka: (Default)
Lengthy thoughts on school and self-esteem here. )
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I'm a bit down this week. Outta steam y'know? And at the same time so grateful for conversations I've had lately. I'm thoughtful about the idea of living my life more slowly. The contradiction of less being more. Less bullshit, more open-ness... more options. Had a conversation about writing today and that conversation inevitably led me here. I have this lingering feeling that I haven't found my groove - the space in which everything will feel right - or at the least, OK. It's like I'm drunk without the drink, stumbling a little. It's all good tho. I'm upright and well. I go with the flow.
somejauntypolka: (Default)
Happy birthday [ profile] neonknight69! I still cannot believe that I get to see you every day! It's been such a lovely year and I'm so lucky to share my life with you.

somejauntypolka: (Default)
Yikes. I'm signed up in two online courses at Uvic this summer! Wish me luck!!
somejauntypolka: (Default)
Tomorrow is May Day. While yer sleeping, I'll be playing my concertina and penny whistle (not simultaneously of course), while the morris dancers dance the sun up for alla y'alls.


I did it.

Apr. 28th, 2008 04:10 pm
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I can't believe it. I quit my computer job. This came about because my supervisor at the women's org came and grabbed me last week, telling me that the finances person had found the funding to offer me an extra day a week until October (when my temp job comes up as a 4 day a week permanent position). The tech job has been good, and at the same time, I'm excited to leave that part of my life behind me at last.

On Friday, me and a co-worker facilitated the anti-homophobia/violence in same sex/gender relationships component of our volunteer training. It went really well. I've done it so many times now that I'm extremely comfortable with the content which makes me feel really good - I don't have any regrets about saying something stupid (there always seems to be one thing that I regret saying) instead, I'm thinking about how to improve the presentation in the future.

Another cool thing about work, all the staff in my office have been invited (by the leadership team) to the Day Against Homophobia breakfast on the 12th. That's in part, a little bit due to my prodding. After that, they've booked two hours for us all to review LGBT accessibility - the beforementioned co-worker and I have been asked to facilitate that meeting. I'm really excited about it. Also really excited that not only are they covering breakfast for us but we're paid for the time spent at breakkie and at the meeting. I'm grateful to be a part of a workplace that values those things.

So looking forward to it, YAY!
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I've LJ'ed more lately than I have in a while, and I like it. I'm reading a book called "trauma stewardship" right now. It's a self-help book of sorts, for people workin' in the social services field. How to be real with yourself about vicarious traumatization, ie how to recognize and deal with the impact of being knee deep in the world's shite day after day. One of the things that kinda rang true for me was "avoidance" as one of the signs. I do that a lot and I do it well. Not LJ'ing is a big part of that. Once I kinda thought about it that way, it suddenly became a lot easier to be here again.

This weekend I felt really good... I mean, no indigestion or acid or anything. Today I feel a little something but otherwise I'm so excited. I'm drinking coffee again! Woot! I'm eating junk food! Double Woot! Now I just have to figure out how to continue to lose weight like I've been doing all this year. Go me.

On a massive tangent, what do you do with your sordid tales of sweet sweet lovin'? Do you have a 'sex' filter on your LJ? Do you talk about your adventures with your friends? Do you write em and submit em to a pr0n site? My partners are just not interested and sometimes you just gotta share...
somejauntypolka: (Default)
April is the Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival. Not only are all the different varieties of cherry blossoms in bloom, but there are a variety of events to be enjoyed, some free, some with cost etc. Like this one: Bike the Blossoms hosted by Slow Food Vancouver, looks really cool but I don't have a bike!

I discovered a free short workshop provided by Pacifi-Kana, which is a pac nw haiku writing organization. Since I love the blossoms and C enjoys writing haiku - [ profile] chris9871, I figured it'd be a fun and different kind of date for us. So yesterday, we went up to Queen Elizabeth and sat in on the workshop. After about 20 minutes of info about haiku (for us it was mostly review) we went on a ginko that is, a haiku walk. Together we wandered the garden seeking inspiration. It was really really nice.

In November I went to a retreat called "Reconnecting to Life". Based on the works of Joanna Macy, it was essentially a retreat for anyone who is or has been involved in any social movements. A chance to model self care for activists, to ease burnout, despondency and hopelessness. An opportunity for us to come together, rejuvenate, network, and reconnect to nature. I had never really thought of myself as the kind of person who was "into the outdoors". At that retreat I had a bit of a chance to renew that relationship by the end of it, nature and I came to a kind of agreement of sorts. Before that retreat, I don't think I'd have been able to enjoy yesterday as much as I did - we had such a good time. I wandered through the garden touching and smelling (sensing) things. He enjoyed just being outside, writing haiku and walking around, sore rib and all. I felt so at peace, I can't even begin to explain. I cannot express how far from stress I was, with my nose buried in petals or my hand pressed up against the bark of an old cedar. We spent 40 minutes to walking and then back to the gathering for tea, cookies and sharing. The gathering wasn't perfect by any means but this opportunity was golden.

After the gathering we had tapas/lunch at the Hilltop Bistro. OMG so nummy. I had a lovely spring salad with strawberries, candied almonds and goat cheese and a crab cake/risotto with lemon/honey sauce. He had a chicken pesto panini wrap with salsa. Oh oh and I almost forgot, delectable mushroom caps. My dessert was to die for, a gorgeous peacan pie (lots of pecans) with chantilly cream. NOMNOMNOM.

Got distracted by lunch there... back to haiku for a moment. There lots of haiku on that website, check out the 2008 Youth Sakura Award Haiku winners (search for em, they're way down on the page). One of the recipients, a 9 year old girl came to the gathering - her winning entry was lovely.

As for my fruit of the day?

water sounds -
or is it ducks
by the pond

Afterwards dinner and LOST with R, [ profile] pale_pink and [ profile] whiggy_one.
somejauntypolka: (Audrey - pondering)
I am so excited. There's a cherry blossom tree in my backyard. I didn't notice last year because I guess we moved in after its bloom. I'm going to go spend time with my tree every day!
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I'm not sure what to make of this weather. This morning, I ventured out early to work in my wool pea coat and pulse warmers. I scraped ice off of my windshield and then sat, teeth chattering, waiting for the frost on the rest of the windows to clear and melt. All the while my little car was displaying the snowflake which cheerfully alerts me to the fact that the temperature is below 3degrees. It was 0. This afternoon? A completely different story. I drove home in the sunshine with my coat on the seat beside me and the windows rolled down so I could gulp lungful upon lungful of warm, fresh air. Seriously Skadi, you're just about off-shift here. Why don't you go home early, 'kay?


Apr. 1st, 2008 05:39 pm
somejauntypolka: (Default)
Outside my work, there are skinny little magnolia trees (I think - I'm no gardener) which have been luciously ripening blooms as big as my face. If I could reach, I'd tug down a branch bury my face in those pretty pink petals... looking into the mirror.

I love spring.
somejauntypolka: (Audrey - pondering)
Today was busy. I went to see my counselor, then her husband the naturopath. I really want this health thing to be over and done with. I'm positive that it's stress related. Hopefully he can help some. After that, visited with my parents which was nice and then had a great date.

Today at the counselors, we talked about music. Me and music actually, our tenuous, conflicted relationship. I haven't thought about music in a long time. I don't know if I have ever. In the middle of what turned out to be a really nice session, I said "I'm constructing an archetype as I sit here... the reluctant artist". She laughed and asked if I was the reluctant artist, or a woman who loves music and dance.

I dunno. At some point, I think I missed the boat. I think I was supposed to be a musician or a dancer or something. It's not that I love those things that much. That's not it at all. It's the fact that for me, a person who's always questioning myself and what I'm doing, those things are starkly simple. They just are. And I just am when I do them. It's natural. Nature. Everything else I partake in has it's own friction, provokes questions. Anyway... always lots more to think about.

By the way. I'm thinking about wearing a turquoisey blue marilyn-ish dress to a wedding in Mexico. What should I wear for shoes? Wedge? Kitten heel? What colour?
somejauntypolka: (Default)
For those of you who are curious...

I'm bellydancing on Sunday at 1:30 at Bonsor Recreation Centre. It's the Middle Eastern Dance Association's annual bazaar which is like, the biggest belly dancer shop-fest around. That and it's only 5 bucks to get in. If you wanna come see me, come on out to burnaby, grab a falafel and buy yerself that coin belt or lapis choker you've always been wanting. It's all nine of us on stage together for the first time :)

Sunday March 30th @ 1:30 PM

The "Grande Bazaar" is a "shopping and dancing extravaganza!!!!"
Vendors, dance performances, mini-workshops and food.

The Bazaar runs all weekend:
March 29 & 30/08
10am to 4:30pm
Bonsor Community Centre, Burnaby (behind Metrotown)
Admission $5
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I got two tickets to She's a Boy I Knew playing tomorrow, Thursday night downtown. I want company. Come with me?


'She's A Boy I Knew' is a transgender filmmaker's look at her family's strengthening bonds as they overcome preconceptions of gender and sexuality.

Using animation, mixed media, and one-on-one interviews with her family, the film is a comic, heartbreaking, and uplifting autobiography that breaks away from marginalized depictions of transgender folk that populate mainstream media.

Winner of the Audience Award for Most Popular Canadian Film at the Vancouver International Film Festival, and the Women in Film and Television Artistic Merit Award, this is a self-funded, grassroots feature documentary that encourages self-empowerment through self-representation, and promotes dialogue and mutual compassion between queer folk and their loved ones.

She's a Boy I Knew
web site:

Women In Film Festival - BC
February 29th - March 8th
web site:
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I can't believe it. Today I actually feel better. I ate breakfast! I ate lunch! I actually ate a little second lunch too! So what if I'm not ready for pizza, I'm giddy with the energy provided by a few extra calories.

Thank gawdess. Things are looking up.
somejauntypolka: (Default)
I just had the worst week ever! It's funny, after I wrote that line I smiled because I realized that things can only improve from here.

Essentially I've had a variety of moderate to severe indigestion/heartburn/acid reflux symptoms for over a week now. I've never really ever dealt with it before. Two Fridays ago I ate everything yer not supposed ta eat, and woke up in the night choking on my own stomach goo. You're supposed to be elevated so I went to bed on the sofa sitting up. Each time I dozed off, I would choke myself back awake. This continued for the next three nights. In the daytime I would be constantly experiencing at least one moderate symptom. If I ate the slightest thing, that seemed to be an ingredient for doom, and ramped moderate symptoms up to serious symptoms.

I went to bed feeling horrible and waking up feeling horrible each day my stomach, churning and uncomfortable. I called the nurse line and saw the Dr and tried everything they told me and still it persisted. I ate gaviscon like candy. I cut caffeine cold turkey and added intense withdrawal migraines on top of everything each day last week. I delayed eating for as long as I could in hopes I'd feel better, but the symptoms would just start all over again. In the middle of last week I got sick and came down with a fever in addition. I have lost 8lbs that I *wish* I could be happy about.

Eating is one of the ways I cope - imperfect as that is. A nice cup of tea comforts me immensely. Without these things, I've been a freaking trainwreck:weak, fragile and teary. I don't have any energy because I'm not eating much, I'm spacy because I'm not sleeping. I'm sure that it's an accumulation of stress built up since the summertime.

So the solution it seems, would be to reduce stress. How do I do that? Or to be more specific, how do I do that when the mere act of being in my body is stressful? How can I find some acceptance for what's going on with me? How do I maintain some sort of serenity when I have to deal with medical system?

Today I actually feel a tiny bit better. I'm going to try see the Dr, but what I'd like to see is a naturopath. Does anyone know anyone? I appreciate alternatives, but I'm not big on woo woo. If you know a grounded alt health practitioner or allergist or anything like that, please share your info.

As always, thanks for listening.
somejauntypolka: (Default)
It occurs to me that i have commitment issues of an odd nature. I don't write emails because I'm worried that people will write back. I don't call people because I assume they'll wanna hang out. I journal intermittently because I'm afraid people will respond. I like people. I like being with people. I like reading emails, so why is this such an issue?
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