Nov. 12th, 2008

somejauntypolka: (Default)
There was a while there a few months ago when I was in it. I mean, *really* in it. My life, that is. I was seeing people and going to events. I even danced in two gigs last month! In relationships things were smokin' in certain quarters: I reconnected with an old flame, had several hot dates with a couple of yummy women I'd been chasing and had lots of fun. In that time I also attended a job interview and accepted the transition of my current temp job into a permanent position. I took on an additonal work day a week. I busted my ass on a halloween costume for a party that I ended up being too sick to attend. Alongside all of that, C and I have been seeing a couples counsellor every week for the past couple of months which has been intense and deep.

No wonder I've been sick for the last 3 weeks now and it doesn't seem to be going away. I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I resent having to go to work. Losing myself in MMORPGS, curling up on the couch and watching shows with a honey is the only thing that really appeals. I am unmotivated and bored. I'm yearning for something different. I want to want exercise, dance, to read something interesting and write something satisfying. I want to want to enjoy a performance and be entertained. I want to feel some sense of excitement.

I want to get better.

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somejauntypolka

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