somejauntypolka: (Default)
[personal profile] somejauntypolka
It's taken a while but I feel like I'm pretty comfortable dressing my body. I mean, I really do get it: my sense of style, my unique shape etc. Unfortunately one of the ways that I've coped with my size is to allow myself the adjective "cute". Not beautiful, not fashionable or stylish, but "cute". About a month ago I had gotten dressed and ready to go out and asked Ole "Do I look cute?". His reply pissed me off. "Honey..." he says, "...a 35 yo woman can't be cute. You look nice." I was so mad. First of all I'll be 34 in December. 34!!! He added two whole years to my age! Secondly I paniced. If I'm not cute, then what am I? Nice? Admitting to looking "nice" means jumping back into the pool with all the size 10 - 34B's out there which inevitably leads to not-as-nice-looking-as-them land. Sigh.

That conversation plus a co-workers comment about removing her labret when she turns 30 (next year) plus a recent episode of what not to wear leaves me really really really wondering if I'm (and I can't believe that this phrase is coming out of my mouth) dressing appropriately for my age. I'm really wondering about this. I buy stuff online all the time and it looks super cute in the pictures so I order it, it arrives I wear it only once because even though it looks fine, something's not quite right. I think if I were being honest - that's what it is. Bleh... And frankly - fat adds extra cuteness, like babies and kids. If/when I shed some pounds, I'll look different. I'll look more my age - like a woman in her mid-30's.

I don't know what to do. for a long time I've had a fantasy of finding one of those personal stylist people who can go shopping with me and help me find an outfit that rocks is just a little bit alt and appropriate for my age. If you know someone - hook me up.
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somejauntypolka

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