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[personal profile] somejauntypolka
It's taken a while but I feel like I'm pretty comfortable dressing my body. I mean, I really do get it: my sense of style, my unique shape etc. Unfortunately one of the ways that I've coped with my size is to allow myself the adjective "cute". Not beautiful, not fashionable or stylish, but "cute". About a month ago I had gotten dressed and ready to go out and asked Ole "Do I look cute?". His reply pissed me off. "Honey..." he says, "...a 35 yo woman can't be cute. You look nice." I was so mad. First of all I'll be 34 in December. 34!!! He added two whole years to my age! Secondly I paniced. If I'm not cute, then what am I? Nice? Admitting to looking "nice" means jumping back into the pool with all the size 10 - 34B's out there which inevitably leads to not-as-nice-looking-as-them land. Sigh.

That conversation plus a co-workers comment about removing her labret when she turns 30 (next year) plus a recent episode of what not to wear leaves me really really really wondering if I'm (and I can't believe that this phrase is coming out of my mouth) dressing appropriately for my age. I'm really wondering about this. I buy stuff online all the time and it looks super cute in the pictures so I order it, it arrives I wear it only once because even though it looks fine, something's not quite right. I think if I were being honest - that's what it is. Bleh... And frankly - fat adds extra cuteness, like babies and kids. If/when I shed some pounds, I'll look different. I'll look more my age - like a woman in her mid-30's.

I don't know what to do. for a long time I've had a fantasy of finding one of those personal stylist people who can go shopping with me and help me find an outfit that rocks is just a little bit alt and appropriate for my age. If you know someone - hook me up.

Date: 2008-10-15 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am that person!

I am a disciple of Stacy & Clinton!
well, can I still be a disciple if I don't always follow the rules myself? I at least KNOW the rules...

I am also early-30s and to hell with age-appropriate. I mean, if you LOOK younger than your age, then dress appropriately to THAT age. And depending on what you're doing. If it's business and you want to look professional, dress real-age-appropriate. If you're partying with people younger than you and everyone already thinks you're that same age, dress that age-appropriate.

I am 32. I get regularly mistaken for 22. Yay fountain of youth genes!

I also think you should have a variety of clothes that suits both ages (your real and your perceived-by-others), and which suits multiple needs (business, partying, casual, etc). why limit ourselves?!

Let's go shopping sometime.

Today I'm going to buy red shoes.

Date: 2008-11-05 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like the idea of having a variety of looks. Sometimes I feel a bit like a one trick pony - I do what I know works for me in one sitch but it doesn't always work in others. 1. I like how you dress. 2. I like you and don't see you enuff. We should make it happen sometime.

PS: Was checking out yellow pumps online today. Droool.

Date: 2008-10-15 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Offer number two for a shopping date -- make it a java and shopping date? :D

Date: 2008-11-05 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We need to connect sometime you and me. I saw yer post about Alanis and had I been more of an LJ junkie I would have scooped up a ticket right away. I gots to keep my eyes open!

Date: 2008-11-05 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hey lady, I would love to connect up sometime! You work on the Drive, yeah?

PS - LJ junkie? Who you calling an LJ junky, huh? *shiftyeyes*
Edited Date: 2008-11-05 04:39 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-10-15 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I've always liked how you dress. I love doing the shopping for other people thing if you ever want company.

Date: 2008-11-05 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Likewise, you. You taught me how to rock dresses n' pants - a look which always gets me compliments.

Date: 2008-10-15 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Forget the "dress your age" thing -- you should dress in what makes you feel and look good, not in what is age-appropriate. If I were 50 and looked awesome in a PVC miniskirt and brocade corset, I'd damn well wear it even though sexy is supposedly something that only 20-somethings (and if we're being generous, 30-somethings) can do. Feh.

Date: 2008-11-05 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I wore a hoodie to work with a a lil skully on the hip in rhinestones. It was cute online, it's cute on me. Technically it looks good and I feel good in it because it's reasonably flattering and fits well. Did I feel as good when my co-worker commented on it's cuteness and in that moment I realized that in a couple of years it's something her teenaged daughter would be wearing? Not so much. I put it on sometimes and while it fits right I look at myself in the mirror and go... "what the...?!"
It's a fine line.

As for sexy in yer 20's... I beg to differ! May I draw your attention to exhibit A -> Sex in the City? :D

Date: 2008-10-16 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Okay, for starters, anyone who says you can't look cute is speaking out of the wrong orifice. If we used your energy to animate, I dunno, a walking bag of lawn clippings, it would still be cute. You in your body are just that much cuter. So there.

As for "age appropriate" - are you happy? Are you having fun? I figure as long as you're not dressing in "adult baby" clothes or plaid polyester sansabelt pants and a lemon yellow polo shirt, you're fine.

Of course, I'm 40 and still wear my cloak to work on rainy days. So I may not be one to talk. :)

Date: 2008-11-05 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
ROFL. I can always count on you to make me smile and make me feel good. Teehehee thanks!

Date: 2008-11-05 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yay! You're worth it :)

Date: 2008-10-16 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Body image stuff is such a mess. I think all of us start out with fairly poor body image except for the beautiful people, who are as often as not worried that their appearance skews how folks think of them in the opposite direction. I think it's incredibly difficult to hold onto an image of oneself as a natural 6 or 7.

But sheesh, the nobody's cute after 30? That's really judgemental and sucky. Dude. I'd like to think my dimples have not been downgraded from cute to nice. That would be just lame.

Date: 2008-11-05 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
In my dear Ole's defense he was trying to imply that I'm a beautiful woman (blah...that phrase makes me gag) not just a cute girl. You know, swan instead of a duckling bullshite - and that I shouldn't be selling myself short. And in some ways I kinda am. Cute is all that *I've* allowed myself to be when perhaps I could be more than that.

This shit never ends, does it?

Date: 2008-11-05 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
FWIW, I've seen so-called 'beautiful people' absolutely ravaged by insecurity and body image issues...

Date: 2008-11-06 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh baby, I know what you're saying. I still get that "cute" comment, and I'm in my mid-fifties. Gives me kinda mixed feelings, I must say.

But "age-appropriate"? Trust me girl, you're way too young to be worrying about that. Enjoy life, yourself, your youth. You've still got it, in lots of ways.
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